Ready for a Rainbow??

How do you know when its the right time to try again? That you’re ready and not just anxious?
On the one hand, I should still be pregnant now and I loved being pregnant, we already decided we want a baby so all of that decision process has been done, yes we want a child. But on the other hand Cass shouldn’t even be born yet, so being pregnant with another seems strange when I should still be carrying him. And that’s only after: wondering if I’ve conceived this month, will my period come tomorrow, did I remember to take my vitamins today.. Cause god knows its not as simple as just deciding we’re ready and then poof it happens here’s a baby. I know there’s nothing physically wrong with me, I know it, yet it feels like there’s so much wrong.
Then there’s the first trimester yuckiness, starting all over again with the size milestones, “it’s the size of a grape now”, and all that. Having my 3rd first scan in under 14 months. Worrying if there’s a heartbeat, praying they are growing and will start kicking soon.
Before it was always a case of ‘what if it doesn’t happen this month’ but now we’ll also have ‘but what if it does’ both outcomes are now equally terrifying. No one in my position wouldn’t be a nervous wreck throughout a pregnancy following loss, that’s what I have to prepare for; to be worried every day. I suppose there is no right time for that.
The big question is am I ready to hope again? To let in the potential for another heartbreak.